Death of A Nice Guy

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I used to be known as the “Nice Guy” when I was younger. We all know that guy, ladies love THAT guy because he takes them to dinner and actually listens to them, just so they can hug him and then turn around and begin dating guys that spend more time racking up kills in Call of Duty Modern Warfare than actually being with their chick woman. I only say that because they bring it up (you know, the girls that don’t like watching/playing COD or Battlefield).

I became their “gay friend” before I even knew it (and I’m NOT even gay). That sh*t sucks, but it happens…WAY too often (the statistics are staggering). I do find it quite funny that being an over-confident, self-important, crass & sarcastic SOB gets me what I want way quicker than being nice does. I am this close to dove-tailing into a tangent filled post about assertiveness and how to be direct, but I won’t. That’s boring and way too after school special for me right now.

What is a Nice Guy?

  1. He honestly believes that if he’s giving, and caring, that he’ll get love and attention in return.
  2. He offers to do things that he wouldn’t normally do for just anybody.
  3. He has no opinion when she asks him something because he wants to give the “RIGHT” answer.
  4. He has yet to learn that there is no “RIGHT” answer.
  5. He avoids conflict.
  6. He tries to fix and take care of her problems, he’s got a “Savior” complex.

I’ve been watching Community on Netflix this week and Joel McHale’s character, Jeff Winger, is a selfish, methodical, manipulative, charismatic SOB, but I love the guy. He says whatever he feels like UNTIL he realizes that it’s not working, and then he switches up his game and tells you what you want to hear (or didn’t even care about up until that moment) and makes you want it more than anything else.

Guys like me HATE guys like me, so over time we become THAT guy who’s generally disingenuous, blunt, or nonchalant about everything and we treat women like they are just a game. Let’s face it, we are all playing games with each other to get what we want and sometimes we don’t know when to cut the crap and just be real. No games, no angles, just down to earth honesty about who we are and what we want.

I guess I’m saying all of that to say that I’m not just a nice guy. I’m a nice guy that says exactly what is on my mind to women. I’m a nice guy that does selfless things for people, but even I have my limits. If you want something say so and be about it, don’t whine about it. Now just to further clarify, I’m not saying “Nice guys suck and come last!”.

I’m just saying don’t let “NICE” be your only defining characteristic as a person, because chances are that there’s more to you than that (and you’re probably being nice to get SOMETHING).

What’s the worst thing that can happen?

[INSERT Random Tangent Here]

Earlier this week a buddy of mine was bickering with this cute girl about something dumb while I was standing next to him and I said what I was thinking to great effect.

“Geez, what’s your problem?” – Cute Girl        

“Oh come on! You’re my problem right now.” – My Friend

“I wish I had your problem, I really do.” – Me (as I started making my way out of the room)

“What did you say?” – Cute Girl

“You heard me.” – Me (with a smile on my face)

I simply said what was on my mind and based on the conversations I’ve had the pleasure of having with her after that, so does she. Self diagnosed Aspergers actually comes in handy.

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Categories: Stories & Rants | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

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19 thoughts on “Death of A Nice Guy

  1. Where have you bn hiding?

    • I thought I was being nice by giving you some space. Kidding, I’ve been busy with work and I went out with someone yesterday. Don’t worry, I’m working on 2 articles about events/charities I’ll be working with this month. I’m free to talk, if you want love.

      • Wow I’m so late respoding back to you. You or so hilarious. lol! I hope you enjoyed yourself on your date. Working on two huh. I so can’t wait to read them when you get the chance. I always love to talk only when you have the chance. Working keep you busy. No wonder I havent got soulful poem from you. Oh yea I nominated you but I seee you beat me to that.. lol.. God Bless :)

  2. Becoming Bitter

    WM you just described some guy I know. He has such a low self esteem and it’s like he doesn’t care anymore. Only dumb bimbos treat nice guys that way. A girl with more personality is the kind of girl nice guys (any guy) should go for. I’ve played COD, but I prefer Batman Arkam Asylum.

  3. Converted Humanist

    But who says that being nice is there only defining characterstic? Who says they are not complex human beings? Not all nice guys are one dimensional… some of them maybe but not all of them.
    And there is a difference between avoiding conflict and avoiding unnecessary conflict.

    Also, it can be argued that some things that don’t need to be said. Nice guys or what have you don’t need to say don’t take advantage of me or don’t treat me badly when I’m nice to you. These things ideally shouldn’t have to be said, but in reality that is not the case. Because some people don’t believe in the “treat others the way you would want to be treated.”

  4. Hmm mm. I’m going to pretend this is all tongue-in-cheek. ;-)

  5. Okay you’re not a nice guy. You are a gentleman. Better?

  6. haha oh how I missed these posts. And I couldn’t agree more about being an SOB gets you what you want, sadly. at least you can call it being the “nice guy” i use to just be called “one of the guys.” I think that’s worse.

  7. HEY I KNOW I JUST RECENTLY NOMINATED YOU FOR AWARD BUT I NOMINATED YOU FOR ANOTHER ONE. SO CONGRATS AND DO CHECK MY BLOG FOR MORE INFO. HOPE ALL IS WELL. GOD BLESS :)

  8. Becoming Bitter

    You have been mentioned in my new post titled “Thank You!” check it out!!!
    http://becomingbitter.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/thank-you/

  9. there is nothin wrong with bein nice, its just wrong when people take advantage of it. i used to b the nice girl, but i got tired of bein takin advantage of, bein talked over. nice people dont always win, so i started buckin up, growin some ovaries and standin up for myself.

    btw, i nominated you for this award! check it out! http://seriouslyrebecca.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/the-leibster-award/

  10. I believe I might be your female counter part, haha. I am the same way as in “nice” , but I still tell everyone exactly what’s on my mind. I personally think true “Nice” guys are living in a dream world. Most People just are not that good back to you anymore.

  11. interesting post! … do nice guys also avoid finding a solution to the conflicts ? lol just wondering

  12. LOL @ guys like you hate guys like you. sorry too many comments lol

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