Alright Awkward Age

I’m in repair
Don’t have it all together
Won’t pretend like I do
I’m not well composed so I won’t act like I am
No acts, no lies, take me at face value
Although what I’m saying surpasses skin deep

Late nights lying awake
Wondering what will become of me
No giving up
Got to keep on getting up
Got to try to keep an open mind
Got to grow into my own skin
While I grow out of my old ways
I’m not the man I used to be lately
I could be wrong, but I might just be right
I’m everything and nothing like you remember
You might just be surprised at the person you see in these eyes

You can put together the image of me you think should be before you
But before you is no mirage
Just a man coming of age
Mirroring the age that he lives in
Constantly rebuilding from the chemical reactions
Caused by the warfare going on inside
Because of my inconsistent ever-changing beliefs

Can’t hold onto some things as long as I would’ve liked to
But I’ve got to let go sometimes
I’m scared of getting older
Because I’m still no good at being young
I’m too existential for my own good
Too bold to be shy in your eyes
But I am shy when I’m alone
Feeling like anybody but myself
So much of me is made up of so little
The little quirks that tie together the fabric of my mind
The clumsy words followed by clumsy actions
The deeply rooted worries and fears disguised in jokes

I don’t think I’ll ever be what I’m supposed to be when I’m supposed to be
But that’s okay with me
Once in awhile I feel like I’m alright
I’m not all together, but I’m sure I’m getting there
Wherever “there” is

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Categories: Poetry | Tags: , | Leave a comment

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