I used to be known as the “Nice Guy” when I was younger. We all know that guy, ladies love THAT guy because he takes them to dinner and actually listens to them, just so they can hug him and then turn around and begin dating guys that spend more time racking up kills in Call of Duty Modern Warfare than actually being with their
chick woman. I only say that because they bring it up (you know, the girls that don’t like watching/playing COD or Battlefield).
I became their “gay friend” before I even knew it (and I’m NOT even gay). That sh*t sucks, but it happens…WAY too often (the statistics are staggering). I do find it quite funny that being an over-confident, self-important, crass & sarcastic SOB gets me what I want way quicker than being nice does. I am this close to dove-tailing into a tangent filled post about assertiveness and how to be direct, but I won’t. That’s boring and way too after school special for me right now.
What is a Nice Guy?
- He honestly believes that if he’s giving, and caring, that he’ll get love and attention in return.
- He offers to do things that he wouldn’t normally do for just anybody.
- He has no opinion when she asks him something because he wants to give the “RIGHT” answer.
- He has yet to learn that there is no “RIGHT” answer.
- He avoids conflict.
- He tries to fix and take care of her problems, he’s got a “Savior” complex.
I’ve been watching “Community” on Netflix this week and Joel McHale’s character, Jeff Winger, is a selfish, methodical, manipulative, charismatic SOB, but I love the guy. He says whatever he feels like UNTIL he realizes that it’s not working, and then he switches up his game and tells you what you want to hear (or didn’t even care about up until that moment) and makes you want it more than anything else.
Guys like me HATE guys like me, so over time we become THAT guy who’s generally disingenuous, blunt, or nonchalant about everything and we treat women like they are just a game. Let’s face it, we are all playing games with each other to get what we want and sometimes we don’t know when to cut the crap and just be real. No games, no angles, just down to earth honesty about who we are and what we want.
I guess I’m saying all of that to say that I’m not just a nice guy. I’m a nice guy that says exactly what is on my mind to women. I’m a nice guy that does selfless things for people, but even I have my limits. If you want something say so and be about it, don’t whine about it. Now just to further clarify, I’m not saying “Nice guys suck and come last!”.
I’m just saying don’t let “NICE” be your only defining characteristic as a person, because chances are that there’s more to you than that (and you’re probably being nice to get SOMETHING).
What’s the worst thing that can happen?
[INSERT Random Tangent Here]
Earlier this week a buddy of mine was bickering with this cute girl about something dumb while I was standing next to him and I said what I was thinking to great effect.
“Geez, what’s your problem?” – Cute Girl
“Oh come on! You’re my problem right now.” – My Friend
“I wish I had your problem, I really do.” – Me (as I started making my way out of the room)
“What did you say?” – Cute Girl
“You heard me.” – Me (with a smile on my face)
I simply said what was on my mind and based on the conversations I’ve had the pleasure of having with her after that, so does she. Self diagnosed Aspergers actually comes in handy.
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- Why Most People Are Full of Shit, and How to Not Be One of Them (shankman.com)
- Continued thoughts on Nice Guy Syndrome (moonchild11.wordpress.com)
- Hollywood Movies Ruin Nice Guys’ Chances For Romance By Telling Them To Become Friends With Women First (prweb.com)
- Shirtless Joel McHale Makes Coffee For Shirtless ‘Community’ Castmates [Video] (jezebel.com)
- Nice Guys Finish First? (ask.metafilter.com)
- The Stand and Nice Guy Syndrome (moonchild11.wordpress.com)