Words & memories are the home of the heart. Words & what we choose to remember of them carry us through the days & nights. Whenever we want to free fall out into nothing, its because we’re so happy that we could fly, or because our life as we know it is ending. Each day we are born & we die anew by the words that we carry with us. We always seem to remember trivial things and yet we have such a hard time grasping the important things.
I’m the worst.
I forget about the world & my life until the moment the tip of my pen touches paper. I live through quotes & dreams, and for all of the good it does me, I continue to write myself into oblivion. Oblivion obviously isn’t all that I thought it was because I am still here writing as though my life were about to end, even though its barely begun.
When does life begin & when does it end?
The day I was born prematurely, is when the world would say that my life began.
When I was a rambunctious six year old that would hang upside down on monkey bars while trying to dribble basketballs, I felt so alive & felt as though anything was possible. Was that the day my life began?
Or was it when I was in grade 4, walking home on a rainy day with the prettiest girl I had ever known under my purple & blue umbrella while she hugged & kissed me?
Or will my life begin as I write my name in the sky right before I put an envelope containing my poetry in the mail box?
And when will my life end?
Did it end when my parents got divorced while I was four & a half?
Did it end when my Mother who was a nurse ended up bed-ridden in a hospital?
Does it end when I’m 70, with the love of my life & our daughter Layla by my side?
Or does it end when I go to sleep tonight?
Each day is like a page out of a story. For the longest time I didn’t enjoy my own story. But like any writer worth their word, I’ve found something worth telling. I wanted to back down, but I no longer know how to do that, so instead I’m going to do what I do best. I am going to write, not only about my life, but the lives of people who have come & gone, and somehow still left their impression on my life.
Yes, that’s what most people do on their blogs, and that’s probably what you thought I was doing all along. I was writing about bits & pieces of my life.
No, I’m not dying, if anything, I’m dying to live.
I’m alive and I will make sure that you never forget who I am, because I will never forget who I am, and I will never forget who you are.
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