Observations of The Wandering Mind

  1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
  2. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
  3. “Stressed” spelled backwards is “Desserts”
  4. Friendship is like peeing on yourself, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth it brings.
  5. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  6. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  7. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
  8. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  9. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  10. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
  11. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
  12. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
  13. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
  14. I must really like & trust you if I’ve shared this with you!
Categories: So Random | Tags: , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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5 thoughts on “Observations of The Wandering Mind

  1. Must keep this up front when I’m stressed, that it spells desserts backwards — I LOVE desserts! Number 13 is hilarious!


  2. This made my day!!


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