Lost feeling in my fingers.
Lost my grip on everything.
Miles away from something familiar.
I’m starving for something new again.
Looking everywhere for a shot.
Three years got me nowhere.
I’m afraid I won’t have anything worth calling my own.
That’s why I’ve got to make a change.
I don’t want to sing the same old song.
Learning how to live life on the edge.
Been putting out fires burning deep inside of me.
Took some time, but now I can breathe.
My behaviour was irratic & I couldn’t expect your empathy.
I wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t know what to say.
Where’s the distinction between friends & family?
I belong to both, so why don’t they feel the same?
We’re supposed to be close, but I’ve rarely felt that way, like an outsider looking in.
You’d tell me to get help in your own way.
So I took your advice & I stayed away.
If my absence bothers you; my apologies.
Grew somewhat in my time away.
Threw myself into everything.
Recklessly put my name behind faces that never stayed the same.
Can’t pretend to be what I’ll never become.
Walked for hours just to get away from my failures which you’ll never see.
Don’t know how to make a fantasy cus reality’s all that I can dream.
I know that you’re different but you always seem the same.
Somehow I find comfort in such continuity.
When you look at me do you still feel the same?
I’m still searching for a calling.
I’ve been writing in every medium.
Soon my words will be bound to paper & liquid screens.
Left my thoughts out there for anyone to see.
Picked up a few tricks along the way.
Now you’re caught up on just about everything.
Thank you for being patient with me.