I have a confession to make. Sometimes I’ll “like” a post before I’ve even read it and then I read through it & think:
“This is horrible! Why would you say something like that!? I don’t agree with that at all, BUT I already liked it… Its too late to “unlike” it, everyone will know!”
When in reality no one beside the poster will notice a damn thing. But my panic is in overdrive when people do this to my posts:
Like. Unlike. Like.
If I happen to be viewing this anomaly as it happens, all I can do is scream at the screen saying:
“Quit messing with my feelings! My feelings… Its a “Like” button, not a Clit, you press it once & forever hold your peace! I will find you!”
And after calming down I just assume that WordPress/Facebook was lagging, so the button was pressed repeatedly. Or maybe, just maybe you can’t decide if you love or hate this post. And that makes me giggle.
In the real world Facebook politics would & probably have gotten somebody killed.
Poking:
Why are you poking me man!? You know I don’t roll like that. What are you poking at anyway!?
Girl why are you poking me, you know my girl is gonna snap when she sees you doing that to me? But you poke me so good girl.
(Why are you poking me, do you want my attention or do you want me to poke you with something?)
Like Button
Do you actually have something to say? I was asking a question & all I got was a “Like”, what am I supposed to do with that?
I am in pain & you “Like” that!? You are some sick *bleeps*!
(Some things are not meant to be “liked”. Some things need an answer or comment as opposed to an absent minded button press.)
Sharing
That was meant just for you girl & you shared it with EVERYBODY. Why would you do that?
(Have you ever shared something you weren’t supposed to?)
Tagging
I’m calling you out man! You were here with that girl at this bar at this time.
Oh… Oh wait, sorry, you didn’t want your business put out there like that. Whoops! Too late bro, I think that she knows. Oh, oh, she knows, she knows! My bad!!
(If you don’t want people knowing where you are or you are a cheater this feature will mess you up SO fast!)
Status Updates
Relationship Status: Its complicated with Teri Jensen
Status: I can’t stand U sometimes!
1 hour later…
Relationship Status: Married to CDN Stormlover
Status: Girl you are so fine, you know you got it like that. I LUV u boo.
10 minutes later…
Relationship Status: Single
Status: I hate when bitches bitch about other bitches bitching. Why are U putting my business out there @Teri Jensen!? GOD, some people!
I’m making a PB&J sandwich & then hopping on Twitter!
(The truth of the matter is you put your business out there & got caught cus you are dumb! And I don’t care about your sandwich or Twitter since you use Facebook as though it were Twitter anyway!)
It’s no freaking wonder people get into fights over dumb shit on Facebook or “Stalkerbook” as its also called.
Sigh…
What’s your Facebook beef?
P.S. Teri & Lee were just used as examples. No one was harmed during the making of this post (yet) & all examples were works of fiction or based on other peoples misfortunes, not my own (yet).
Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.
The Wandering Mind 
I am profoundly confused by what you are saying. I saw my name and I don’t get this at all.
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Hi Teri, I said it was an example, not based on anything. My execution in writing this may have been off, it was meant as a joke. I can change the names if you like.
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I read this and was like WTF is he talking about and then I got to “P.S. Teri & Lee were just used as examples. No one was harmed during the making of this post (yet) & all examples were works of fiction or based on other peoples misfortunes, not my own (yet).” Now I feel like an ass! LOL! I should have finished reading it. I told you I am wicked pissy these days. You don’t have to change it.
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Thank goodness, I had no intention of pissing you off hon. Its all in good fun, at my own expense (hopefully). Oh & you might want to check your messages sometimes. You’ll know what I mean once you find out what I’m talking about. 🙂 Love you!
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OMG! Too funny! 😉 (especially the tagging bit)
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Hi hon! Thanks for the material, our conversations always inspire something out of me. I know how you feel about “tagging” lol. I see that smiley face girl, and I know that you like me, you really, really like me. 😉
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LOL! Now I know why you enjoy our phone chats! BLOG CONTENT! LMAO! No more chats mister!
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Oh no, she’s on to me! LOL. I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed today’s mix. Love me some Shaggy, that’s my jam yo!
But I can’t tell you that since comments are blocked. So you’re not even gonna get a smiley out of my DJ Storm, you blew it!
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Comments are blocked? HUH?
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Okay, I fixed the comments area. Not sure why it didn’t default to “enable comments on this blog post”. Hmmmmm…..it’s the first time that’s happened.
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And this is the reason I don’t have a Face Book page. My life is complicated enough with face-to-face interactions! Funny post… 🙂
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Thank you! You’re smart for staying away from StalkerBook.
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