Too many Black people have died, and there are not enough words to excuse why or how they’ve died so horrifically. Every time the Black Community witnesses the reckless murdering of our Brothers and Sisters, especially at the hands of those who are sworn to protect all of us, we die too inside. We lose any sense of peace we have with every video we have to watch, every character assassination story, every excuse uttered by someone playing Devil’s Advocate, and every Racist weaponizing our very existence against us.
You can’t expect people to not feel outraged when their cries go unheard. Every stance we’ve taken up till now is WRONG, but no one seems to know the RIGHT way to give some humanity and justice to us. Racism has relentlessly snuffed out too many lives, hopes and choices. I’m tired of feeling so frustrated, it’s exhausting.
March, donate, educate and listen. Do whatever you can to encourage change.
Have you ever felt like you didn’t have the right to feel the way you do?
When everyone around you seems to be having the time of their lives it feels wrong or selfish to admit that you’re not. You are truly happy for them, but whatever is going on in your life is weighing you down so you can’t fully commit to the moment. That’s how I felt a few days ago.
I attended my Nephew’s wedding and I couldn’t fully enjoy the moment with him and our family. I smiled, cracked jokes and I really am proud of him, but part of me was and is still distracted by this tinge of sadness.
Our cat Sundae had a stroke and died Friday while I was on my way to the wedding. Learning of her death while I was at this momentous occasion filled me with this odd mixture of happiness and grief all at the same time. I’m smiling while I’m on the verge of crying, and hugging my family all the while thinking about hugging my friends/roommates who were there at Sundae’s time of death. Life is funny that way.
In the same day I was able to embrace my family in a moment of pure joy and then hold my friends as we sobbed and mourned together at our mutual loss. Happiness turned into sadness and then frustration by the end of the day. The highs and lows of life are not lost on me.
I wanted to write about this earlier, but I figured who was I to talk or write about a little loss? I don’t want to distract from or steal anyone’s joy, so I didn’t message or call (typical). Don’t worry I’ve got Netflix, junk food and tea, so I’ll be fine. We will all be fine eventually.
I just needed to air out a few thoughts. Thanks for reading, if you’ve made it this far.
2016 blessed me with 66 memorable moments of happiness that I was fortunate to be a part of. Here are a few moments that stuck with me.
– Cosplay photo shoots with fun photographers and cosplayers
– Attended a few events and made a few friends (Anime North, Woodstock Spider-Man’s Charity Bday Bash, Centre Island Events, Unplugged Expo, DTAC, and Sean Ward Show’s Christmas Party)
– An Instagram follower made fan art of my Spider-Men suits
– Got 2 custom Spider-Man suits (Punk Amazing Spider-Man & Canadian Spider-Man)
– My friends and I saw Stan Lee at Fan Expo
– Found out I had a few IMDB credits
– Improvised lines with actors and made them laugh on a few projects
– Recorded lines for “Zoolaplex”, “Knights Errant”, and “Realm of Ritualists”
– Chatted with actors and Youtubers
– Caught up with an old friend while we talked for over 3 hours (We’ve learned a lot about each other throughout the year)
– Relaxed on a Nude Beach and made a few friends
– Game Nights with friends
– Had good AirBnB experiences
– Made a custom t-shirt on Tee Public
For the past few months I haven’t felt a need or hunger for exploration or expression through writing. Meeting new and exciting people while doing new and exciting things has motivated me to continue writing. Continue reading →
I know it’s February and all, but I just realized that I hadn’t emptied my Happiness Jar. You know the one from this post, My Happiness Jar. The way I see it, January is the trial period of a new year so I can ease into things properly.
2015 provided me with 88 memorable moments of happiness that I couldn’t forget.
Top 10 (in no specific order):
1. Fun working on set!
It’s hard not to have fun on set with awesome people. There are way too many stories and jokes on set.
2. Connecting with friends.
My best friend made me spit out my drink and laugh until it hurt (and I was drinking tea).
Reunited with a friend I hadn’t seen face to face in 12 years while working on a commercial. We have since had fun working together on a few projects.
Someone I became fast friends with while working on “Pixels” made me smile when she told me she was “glad that we met and became friends”.
Attending a Black & White Party with friends.
I was already wearing a tuxedo while working on set, and my friend was close by so I joined him at this martini-filled tuxedo party. Total coincidence.
Jokes and shenanigans at a friend’s BBQ.
I tried “Flash Dance” drinking. Don’t ask.
Spoiled a friend on her birthday with dinner and movies all night.
Chatting with an old WordPress friend.
We haven’t seen each other in a few summers, but we still talk.
Playing Just Dance with friends.
Looking silly has never looked so good!
3. Thanksgiving with my Sister’s family.
Re-connecting with my nephew and nieces over dinner and games.
4. I learned how to play Catan!
Spent 4 days playing variations of Catan with my friends.
I also purchased Catan in the Google Play app store (the Computer cheats!!).
5. I built a Room Divider Vocal Booth (my recording space for voice-over auditions and projects).
Recorded lines for 2 characters in a video game expansion.
Recorded a cast interview for a voice-over project I got to be a part of.
I am so glad that they found me on Twitter. Their family friendly podcast as they put it is about “Kids, wives, and 9 to 5’s but we’re still married to the games”. Every week these guys make me laugh and occasionally they tackle one of my questions/comments on the show, which is a nice surprise. These jokers always make my week.
8. The Scarlet Spiders
I have 2 costumes. I bought one on Zentai-Zentai.com for Halloween and I bought a Morphsuit on Amazon so I could make my own suit (just in case my order didn’t arrive in time). I had fun crafting this suit made with foam, mesh, Water Shoes, Velcro straps and acrylic paint. I will be sure to wear these suits again at a convention, Cosplay is fun!
9. Fun dates with adventurous women.
I didn’t do much dating, but I had a few enjoyable days and nights with interesting women.
10. Two tablets at the same time.
I prefer recording my voice-overs on my tablets since they don’t produce any background noise. I use one for recording and the other displays my script. After one of them fell and broke I ordered a tablet from Amazon, and when it didn’t arrive I got a replacement sent. Low and behold my replacement and the original order arrived together, so I gave one to my friend and we paid the difference.