When I am nothing will I mean something?
In my absence would anything be different?
I don’t know and that scares me.
Knowing more and feeling less is a poor man’s defense.
Study the nights and unravel the mysteries.
Dream when life gets dark.
Smile, keep your head up.
Move with purpose.
Speak with heart.
Everything is not as it was.
Leave everything whole.
Always be true.
The rest is temporary.
Friend of mine, don’t let me die in my ways.
Guide me towards happiness without an end.
I’ve been living as though I’ve already flat-lined.
Get me out of my mind, make me feel better than any way I can think of.
I cannot tell a lie whether black or white.
I want to be a better person, but you can’t change me.
When I’m not myself, remind me who I was when everything was fine.
Let me wish without a hint of reality.
Question my fears before they become a second skin.
Bring your light when darkness blinds me.
Pull back the curtains, look behind my every compulsion.
Show me what dreams may come if I keep quiet.
Terms of sweet endearment are wasted on the deaf of heart, but I know that you can hear what I feel.
Friend of mine, don’t let me die undefined.
Angels know I mean well everyday.
For all that I know and all that I’ve loved, I long to be good.
I see all that is wrong with me.
Let me be what’s right, when it’s wrong.
Friend of mine, I’ll see you tomorrow with a smile upon my face.
No matter what good I’ve done
Enough will never be enough
Pushed a smile out of the way
Downwards spiraling towards a state of apathy
Today was not meant for me
Tomorrow was not something I could see
Happiness was only ever temporary
Never would there be another reason
This is what depression says to me
Depression has a name & sometimes it’s mine
That is what I struggle to accept
And then there are those days when I truly believe it
It’s something you can’t quite put a finger on
It’s something I have to move beyond
“Dum spiro spero.” Translated from Latin means:
“As long as I breathe, I hope.”
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Pills can’t fix everything.
I’ll be your Morpheus for today. There is no blue pill (ignore the Viagra) & there is no red pill for happiness (ignore the Cipralex in my hand). Pills can only do so much, the rest is up to you. I’m speaking from experience.
The red pill and its opposite, the blue pill, are symbols representing the choice between blissful ignorance (blue) and embracing the sometimes painful truth of reality (red).
You have to find your own balance & happiness, & you will. You are worth so much more than the truths that you swallow. Medication can help you, but they can’t guide to towards the peace & calm that you seek. Only love, patience & understanding can do that.
Lines from “The Matrix”, starring You:
Morpheus: I imagine that right now you’re feeling a bit like Alice. Tumbling down the rabbit hole?
You: You could say that.
Morpheus: I can see it in your eyes. You have the look of a person who accepts what they see because they’re expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate?
You: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
You: ‘Cause I don’t like the idea that I’m not in control of my life.
Morpheus: I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you’re here. You’re here because you know something. What you know, you can’t explain. But you feel it. You felt it your entire life. That there’s something wrong with the world.
You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
There is a 3rd option, you just can’t see it yet. It begins & ends with you.
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The Wandering Mind 