Posts Tagged With: Jealousy

A Love Story Is Not A Toy Story

“Everything seems more appealing when you can’t have it.”

I said that to a friend while we were chatting about relationships. That response came from me before I even knew why I said it. It’s true. We’ve all experienced wanting something or someone.

But what happens after you get what you wanted?

If we were “playing video games,” like Lana Del Rey said, we would be rewarded with a gripping cinematic & the words “You Won!!”

If this was a novel, we would turn to the last page and that would be that.

If this were a script for a movie, poppy music that has nothing to do with what we’ve experienced would begin to play & the screen would freeze or fade to black.

But this is real life, so things continue onwards after the credits roll, after the pages have been turned & after we’ve won the game of our lives.

Sometimes people have this weird tendency to drop everything after they’ve got what they wanted. Suddenly that love that you worked on or chased after becomes a trophy in a case instead of something you carry with you daily. Maybe it has something to do with complacency or just becoming distracted with everyday life, but after a while that thing we treasured begins to collect dust. It happens.

Let me bring this back for a second to a simpler time.
When I was a kid I remember wanting this cool transforming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle after seeing the commercials.
My friend & I didn’t have enough money to get one, so we put our money together and got it.

Boy were we disappointed with what we got. It was smaller than it had appeared in the commercials & it didn’t function all that well. We tried to make do with it, but our enjoyment quickly fizzled.

The same thing happens in the grown up world too. We get what we wanted & it doesn’t live up to what we expected or hoped that it would be. We try to make it work for one reason or another, but it just doesn’t feel right.

What do you want?

Sometimes once we’ve decided to put things aside & move on, our “better half” decides that they want us. It’s like a switch was hit & suddenly the lights came on. The funny thing about lighting is that it works just like justification; you can make anything look the way you want if you really want to. Sometimes they want what they had, or they really do want to make things better. But sometimes they just don’t want to or know how to let things go.

When I was younger I was taught about the difference between “wants & needs” & “jealousy & envy”. Jealousy & envy account for 75% of the story lines that come out of the CW’s serialized shows such as “Vampire Diaries“, “90210” and the like.

I’m sure you will.

Envy is wanting what someone else has.

Jealousy is not wanting somebody to take what rightfully “belongs” to you. Sometimes we just don’t want anyone to play with our toys, even if we have no use for them or any intention of even taking care of them anymore. Sometimes we treat people like playthings or toys and we simply want to possess them. So we play nice for a while until they do what we want. Then we get bored & find someone else to play with and we forget about them again.

Yes, I realize that some people get their happy ending and they work at it because they love what they have. To all of you that have found your way past Chapter 2 of your “Choose Your Own Adventure” love story or your personal journey in life, congratulations and I’m happy for you.
I just wanted to air out a few thoughts, that’s all.

People stop toying with each other. Grow up, move on & play nice. That’s all I’m saying.

“Everything seems more appealing when you can actually enjoy it.”

Categories: Stories & Rants | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Anything But Easy

You say that you have nothing to give, but your company is more than enough for me.
Would it really be so bad to be content with all that you are and all that we could be?
We don’t think, we just feel our way through each other’s thoughts.
Lying together, floating carelessly in the depths of our everyday history.
This should be easy & this would be easy, if only we’d stay out of the way and just let us be.
Why can’t we be?
Because there’s something that you won’t tell me, although I know you want to.

You want to let it out, but it’s trapt between the past and the fear of the future.
Of all the things we’ve said, it’s saying nothing that stopped us from being all that we could be.
I want to complete something, other than a sentence.
We can try to outrun this feeling or we can let it take hold and take flight.
The heart has reasons, that reason does not know; and we have something here, if only we’d let it show.
I’m sure that this uncertain state of simply being is not where we’re meant to stay as the days fade.
Perfect moments are made in the moment; we can either make it happen or just let it be.

I don’t want to live my life without you and I’ll take regret any day over not knowing.
The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was to sit back and let you fall for this or that instead of me.
They don’t know you like I do, maybe that’s just my jealousy growing,
or maybe it’s just destiny speaking into me like a mic.
So take a look at your life and see what you can’t live without before you look at me,
I look at you, and we see what anyone could clearly see.
No questions or comments, I know what I know because I know you better than I know myself.
Let’s get out of our way and see what happens.
This should be easy.

Categories: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: