Facebook Politics

I have a confession to make. Sometimes I’ll “like” a post before I’ve even read it and then I read through it & think:

“This is horrible! Why would you say something like that!? I don’t agree with that at all, BUT I already liked it… Its too late to “unlike” it, everyone will know!”

When in reality no one beside the poster will notice a damn thing. But my panic is in overdrive when people do this to my posts:

Like. Unlike. Like.

If I happen to be viewing this anomaly as it happens, all I can do is scream at the screen saying:

“Quit messing with my feelings! My feelings… Its a “Like” button, not a Clit, you press it once & forever hold your peace! I will find you!”

And after calming down I just assume that WordPress/Facebook was lagging, so the button was pressed repeatedly. Or maybe, just maybe you can’t decide if you love or hate this post. And that makes me giggle.

In the real world Facebook politics would & probably have gotten somebody killed.

Poking:
Why are you poking me man!? You know I don’t roll like that. What are you poking at anyway!?

Girl why are you poking me, you know my girl is gonna snap when she sees you doing that to me? But you poke me so good girl.

(Why are you poking me, do you want my attention or do you want me to poke you with something?)

Like Button
Do you actually have something to say? I was asking a question & all I got was a “Like”, what am I supposed to do with that?

I am in pain & you “Like” that!? You are some sick *bleeps*!

(Some things are not meant to be “liked”. Some things need an answer or comment as opposed to an absent minded button press.)

Sharing
That was meant just for you girl & you shared it with EVERYBODY. Why would you do that?

(Have you ever shared something you weren’t supposed to?)

Tagging
I’m calling you out man! You were here with that girl at this bar at this time.

Oh… Oh wait, sorry, you didn’t want your business put out there like that. Whoops! Too late bro, I think that she knows. Oh, oh, she knows, she knows! My bad!!

(If you don’t want people knowing where you are or you are a cheater this feature will mess you up SO fast!)

Status Updates
Relationship Status: Its complicated with Teri Jensen

Status: I can’t stand U sometimes!

1 hour later…

Relationship Status: Married to CDN Stormlover

Status: Girl you are so fine, you know you got it like that. I LUV u boo.

10 minutes later…

Relationship Status: Single

Status: I hate when bitches bitch about other bitches bitching. Why are U putting my business out there @Teri Jensen!? GOD, some people!

I’m making a PB&J sandwich & then hopping on Twitter!

(The truth of the matter is you put your business out there & got caught cus you are dumb! And I don’t care about your sandwich or Twitter since you use Facebook as though it were Twitter anyway!)

It’s no freaking wonder people get into fights over dumb shit on Facebook or “Stalkerbook” as its also called.

Sigh…

What’s your Facebook beef?

P.S. Teri & Lee were just used as examples. No one was harmed during the making of this post (yet) & all examples were works of fiction or based on other peoples misfortunes, not my own (yet).

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Like I Love You (But You Don’t Like Me)

You know how it goes, it’s NEVER the one you want that wants you.
So what do you do when someone drops an “I like/love you” bomb on you….and you don’t feel remotely the same way?

First, put yourself in their shoes. Rejection hurts no matter how nicely it’s dished up.

If you had no clue how they’ve felt/You want to get rid of them:

• Find out why/when they felt this way (and become the complete opposite of what they like about you)
  (Ex. You punch them in the arm HARD and frown a lot because they think you’re gentle and they love your smile)
• Be Extra Clingy: Call more than you usually would, show up more where you know he/she is going to be, always have your arms around their neck/waist/shoulder… you can get as creative with this as you want. The more annoying the better.

If you knew how they felt and don’t want things to change:

• Talk to him/her: Just tell them how you feel, that you don’t feel the same way, but that you appreciate them and don’t mean to hurt them. (Sure they might be mad at you, but eventually they’ll understand. Just tell them the truth.)
• Depending on the person, you can say that you are VERY flattered, and that you want them to be happy, just not with you.

What tips or stories do you have?
How many ways can you say, “I like you, but I’m not into you.”?

Here’s some more ammunition:

Here’s how the other person feels:

Related Articles

• “Loving” Someone Vs. Being “In Love” With Someone , Is There REALLY A Difference? (chicagonow.com)
• 2011, Love and Sex? (socyberty.com)
• How Do You Know You Really Like Someone? (thefrisky.com)
• Valentines Day and Single (socyberty.com)
• What do you do when your boyfriend tells you he does not love you enough to mary you (wiki.answers.com)