Posts Tagged With: loss

A Little Loss & A Lot Of Love

Have you ever felt like you didn’t have the right to feel the way you do?

When everyone around you seems to be having the time of their lives it feels wrong or selfish to admit that you’re not. You are truly happy for them, but whatever is going on in your life is weighing you down so you can’t fully commit to the moment. That’s how I felt a few days ago.

I attended my Nephew’s wedding and I couldn’t fully enjoy the moment with him and our family. I smiled, cracked jokes and I really am proud of him, but part of me was and is still distracted by this tinge of sadness.

Our cat Sundae had a stroke and died Friday while I was on my way to the wedding. Learning of her death while I was at this momentous occasion filled me with this odd mixture of happiness and grief all at the same time. I’m smiling while I’m on the verge of crying, and hugging my family all the while thinking about hugging my friends/roommates who were there at Sundae’s time of death. Life is funny that way.

In the same day I was able to embrace my family in a moment of pure joy and then hold my friends as we sobbed and mourned together at our mutual loss. Happiness turned into sadness and then frustration by the end of the day. The highs and lows of life are not lost on me.

I wanted to write about this earlier, but I figured who was I to talk or write about a little loss? I don’t want to distract from or steal anyone’s joy, so I didn’t message or call (typical). Don’t worry I’ve got Netflix, junk food and tea, so I’ll be fine. We will all be fine eventually.

I just needed to air out a few thoughts. Thanks for reading, if you’ve made it this far.

Categories: Stories & Rants | Tags: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Becoming (Lost In Everything)

Let your heart break into something more...

Let your heart break into something more…

What’s left to find when you’ve lost your way?
Everything weighs heavy on your mind
Sometimes we lose our place in line
And what we wanted yesterday doesn’t seem to get any closer

What’s left to find when you’ve lost it all?
There’s a disconnect from the expectations we’ve laid out before us
It’s not that you don’t want to do the things you say
You just get lost in everything
That’s problem with promises, because no one knows what tomorrow hides

When the Sun goes down we will disconnect from the day that’s had its way with us
We can reconnect with our simple ways, eye to eye, oh so quietly
And if the night finds us together, we can leave our loneliness behind, hand in hand

Let your heart break into something more
In loss there can be freedom
Get rid of everything
Make amends with what you’ve done
And after it is done, you’ll find room to enjoy what you’ve become
Let tomorrow set you free & start again

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Quotes: Dreams

“Thunder only happens when it’s raining.
Players only love you when they’re playing.
They say, women, they will come and they will go.
When the rain washes you clean, you’ll know
You will know.” – Fleetwood Mac (Dreams)

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How do I get this stain out?
Out of the ground I walk on.
Out of my system.
Out of my life.

Ratio of three to one.
Three lines crossed against this one life.
Trust, dignity & truth versus everything I knew.
It’s soaked deep into the pores, into the very fabric of who I’ve become.
I don’t want this bloodstained floor you’ve walked all over to colour who I am.

You filled me with regret until I could take no more.
Hoping that no one would see, every time I dried my tears.
There is nothing left for you to take.
Nothing you can do.
I will remove this blemish, but first I have to get rid of you.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Categories: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Close Encounters

Constant interruptions keep me too busy to think about what I’m missing out on.
If it makes you feel any better, the less I think, the more I feel like someone.
Someone else knows what I’m talking about without a doubt.
I can’t take these close encounters with angels lightly.
Hell if I know a thing or two about anything worth anything.

You might have too much insight into why I don’t say the things you want to hear.
The way I see it, I don’t really have a chance, so I’ll take my leave without saying a word.
You see the other side of me, the one that always walks away.

This throbbing is not in my head, but from my love drunk heart.
Cracked open & exposed, like a bottle of Bailey’s, I poured myself into anyone that would take me.
I know that there’s harder things to swallow, but none of those things would be half as sweet as the satisfaction of knowing that you love me.
Even though it’s wrong, I play this guilty pleasure day in & out with eyes closed until I’m closed at night around something that feels half as good as you.

This might be a little too personal.
But I’ve spent my nights wide awake until the morning light had to fight to get me out of bed.
You see in my head I’ve got nothing but memories of a life with you that never was.
So the more I get, the less I want to leave & we simply can’t have that coming from a man that doesn’t dream.

I used to dream of completing something other than a sentence.
If I could have a word with you, I would touch you & take a hold of you.
And you look so good in your snow white dress.
I don’t know where we’re going, but I promise that I want to be with you.
I won’t worry the rest of my life away.
I’ve got time & I want to spend it with you.
I want to tell you everything & I’ve got a feeling that this is just the beginning.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Categories: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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