Posts Tagged With: Movies

What’s Playing Tonight

What's playing tonight? We are.

What’s playing tonight? We are.

“How long do you make guys wait?” – Me

“Make them wait?” – Jenn

“Uh… How long do you let them wait?” – Me

“As long as I like!” – Jenn

“Oh thank God, at least you’re being reasonable.” – Me

“So… How’s your love life going?” – Jenn

“It left the building along with my date.” – Me

“You can get another one.” – Jenn

“I already tried doing an exchange. Had to settle for all or nothing. Guess what I chose?” – Me

“Ass. You’re lucky you’re cute & charming.” – Jenn

I laugh.

“I didn’t realize you were checking out my ass. Your ass looks great in those jeans by the way.” – Me

She laughs & shakes her head.

“So what are you doing tonight?” – Me

“Nothing now. I wanted to see this ‘dumb’ Will Farrell movie, but no one wants to see it.” – Jenn

“I’m available.” – Me

“You’re not very subtle though… I kinda like that.” – Jenn

I whip out my phone.

“The next show’s playing in 40 minutes & our tickets are already paid for.” – Me

“Wha…. What!? Wait. How’d you do that so fast?” – Jenn

“It’s a movie, not our ‘first time’, why wait.” – Me

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Categories: Stories & Rants | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

3D Movies Were Made for Lap Dances

Ladies, wouldn't you love to see this in 3D?

Ladies, wouldn’t you love to see this in 3D?

Hey I’m all about equal opportunity. After mocking my girl friends for drooling over “Magic Mike” starring Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Olivia Munn , Matthew McConaughey & Matt Bomer set in the world of male strippers; I have come to the conclusion that if the girls are going to see this they should go ALL out & make a night of it.

Go to an actual strip club before or after the movie. Consider it as studying for your project.

Go see Magic Mike in 3D. Wait, it’s not shot in 3D!? You’re kidding right? How is the King of online ticket sales being cock blocked by 3D technology like this?

This movie could single-handedly sale the idea of 3D movies to the “50 Shades of White Collar Twilight” fanbase. This movie would make women leave the theatre in stretchers, dripping sweat like Niagara Falls from their head to their panties. I am serious.

I want my girls to come out of that theatre giggling saying stuff like, “Channing Tatum & Matt Boomer’s junk was all up in my face!”

“I grabbed his ass, I couldn’t help it!”

“That was the cheapest & best lap dance I have ever gotten in my life! Let’s go watch it again girls!”

Come on guys, where is the 3D component for this? This well crafted piece of art should be fully appreciated on June 29th (in a soaking wet theatre near you) in 3D. Do a post-production 3D upgrade, just do it for the women you love & the girls you wish would let you buy a 3D TV.

Think about it Sony (or whoever is distributing this production in theatres/DVD), sell this when it comes out on Blu Ray with your 3D TV’s & you’ll make a killing.

Ladies, how badly do you want Magic Mike to tease you in 3D this summer?

Be honest & I will give you the dollar dollar bills for your night out on June 29th.

Everything's bigger in 3D.

Everything’s bigger in 3D.

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Categories: Entertainment, So Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Dirty Movies (It’s Not What You Think)

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How many times have you heard the name of a movie, or its tagline and thought,
“That sounds dirty,”?
Well here are a few movies that sound like dirty movies, but are NOT.

  1. “Free Willy”, Tagline: How Far Would you Go For A Friend?
  2. “Blow”, Tagline: Based on a True Story.
  3. “Stick It”, Tagline: “Nasty.” It’s the key word in “Gymnastics,” without the “Y.
  4. “Stuck on You”, Tagline: It’s Boys, It’s Girls, It’s Crazy.
  5. “Toy Story”, Tagline: Hang on for the comedy that goes to infinity and beyond!
  6. “Hancock”, Tagline: He is saving the world whether we like it or not.
  7.  “In The Company of Men”, Tagline: Are all men bastards…or just misunderstood?
  8. “Big Daddy”, Tagline: Nature Called. Look Who Answered.
  9.  “Dirty Dancing”, Tagline: Have The Time Of Your Life.
  10. “Freddy Got Fingered”, Tagline: This Time You Can’t Change The Channel
  11. Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory”, Tagline: Your golden ticket to imagination and adventure!
  12. “Brokeback Mountain”, Tagline: Love Is A Force Of Nature
  13.  “I Am Legend”, Tagline: The Last Man On Earth Is Not Alone
  14.  “Too Big To Fail”, Tagline: Main Street Took The Fall. Wall Street Got The Check.
  15. “Snatch”, Tagline: Now you see it, now you don’t!
  16.  “Bend It Like Beckham”, Tagline: Sometimes, to follow your dreams… you’ve got to bend the rules!
Categories: Entertainment, So Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Stephen’s Anti-Superbowl Weekend

1 Fun workout
2 Postponed/cancelled dates
3 Cakes & cupcakes never got baked (there’s an unintentional drug reference haha)
4 Drinks
5 Movies & pizza slices later

And I finally had an epiphany:

I’ll be FINE by myself.

If I can stand being with myself, eventually I’ll find someone else who can put up with my smart-ass remarks, random dance attacks, vain mirror checking rituals & my penchant for doing cartwheels & handstands in my apartment (just to prove that I still can do it).

For starters I could have:
– Got laid at 2 in the morning
– Made cupcakes with a sweet yet complicated girl
– Gone to a Superbowl party
– Been miserable alone

But I did none of those things & I’m perfectly fine with that for some inexplicable reason (shh, I’m the most well adjusted person on the face of the planet).

I’m sure I left a few other tidbits out, but it’s Superbowl Sunday (and I really don’t care).

I’m hitting the showers & happily heading to bed.

Take care cupcakes…mmm cupcakes (drools just a little).

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Categories: Stories & Rants | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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