Posts Tagged With: pizza

WTF: Man Holds Himself Hostage


Man Holds Himself Hostage (Demands Pizza & Paris Hilton)

Would you like a side of Paris with your pizza?

Fredrick Denney, 61, barricaded himself into a hotel room at Hampton Inn in Belmont, North Carolina, and threatened to shoot cops unless he was given pizza and Paris Hilton’s hand in marriage. Come on, don’t act like you haven’t considered doing that for a slice of Paris & some good pizza. Several agencies, including the Regional SWAT Team, responded to the incident.

After the breakdown in talks, authorities busted in and took Denney down using pepper spray. Denney was thrown into handcuffs, and taken into custody.

Fine food & women are all he really needs.

Denney was also taken to the hospital for a mental evaluation (because of his bad taste in women) & the trouble he caused. Authorities told WCNC that Denney, who is from Oregon, has had several run-ins with SWAT Teams in other states. How is he even allowed to walk around in public?

His bond was set at $90,000.  He’s now facing several charges including being “intoxicated and disorderly”, among other things.

It has been confirmed that Paris Hilton was not aware of Denney’s demands. No word on whether he ever got his pizza (before or after being thrown in his cell).

My pizza brings all the boys to the yard. Mmm, that’s hot.

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Categories: WTF (What The F*@!) | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Flakes & Phones (Thank Goodness for Backup Plans)


I’m done. No more phone tag. 3 Strikes & you’re out.

I’m so glad I didn’t sit around waiting for a phone call. Hunger Games was worth watching late at night & following up with wings, pizza & some “Community” Season 1 was pure genius!

I should be able to sleep now. Who needs pills when you have Honey Garlic Wings & blue cheese sauce?

*Fart sounds*
“Mmm mud-butt…zzz.” -Dave Chappelle

Thanks guys! Good night… Err morning.

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Categories: So Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Stephen’s Anti-Superbowl Weekend


1 Fun workout
2 Postponed/cancelled dates
3 Cakes & cupcakes never got baked (there’s an unintentional drug reference haha)
4 Drinks
5 Movies & pizza slices later

And I finally had an epiphany:

I’ll be FINE by myself.

If I can stand being with myself, eventually I’ll find someone else who can put up with my smart-ass remarks, random dance attacks, vain mirror checking rituals & my penchant for doing cartwheels & handstands in my apartment (just to prove that I still can do it).

For starters I could have:
– Got laid at 2 in the morning
– Made cupcakes with a sweet yet complicated girl
– Gone to a Superbowl party
– Been miserable alone

But I did none of those things & I’m perfectly fine with that for some inexplicable reason (shh, I’m the most well adjusted person on the face of the planet).

I’m sure I left a few other tidbits out, but it’s Superbowl Sunday (and I really don’t care).

I’m hitting the showers & happily heading to bed.

Take care cupcakes…mmm cupcakes (drools just a little).

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Categories: Stories & Rants | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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