Posts Tagged With: requests

10, 000 Strong


I am feeling the love today, especially from all of you guys! Earlier tonight I was talking with my friend Frenchy about my blog & I told her that I have over 200 subscribers (I’m still awestruck by that) & I was nearing 10, 000 views.

I said, “I should be at 10, 000 views by Friday. Its just a number, I was happy back when I had only 30 subscribers & 3, 000 views.”

And then we found out that I was already over 10, 000 views (10, 026 to be exact) as of 6:30pm.

I squealed for joy like Ronnie from Jersey Shore or Flipper the Dolphin on crack. Frenchy laughed her cute ass off hysterically. It was an epic moment between us.

So thank you guys so much for sticking with me.

Since you’ve been so good to me, what can I do for you guys? Is there something you’d like to see on my blog or something you’d like me to personally do for you?

I’m serious, try me (within reason, I ain’t going to jail or loaning money though). I won’t act like this is Sparta & kick you down a bottomless well (even if the thought crosses my mind).

Thanks again guys!!

Categories: Stories & Rants | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

WTF: Best Craigslist Ad EVER!!


I DO ANYTHING (30307)


Date: 2011-02-07, 3:58PM EST
Reply to: see below


travisdoesanything@gmail.com

My name is Travis Broyles and I will do whatever* you want me to do for less money than whoever you are paying to do it now.

Below is a list of just some of the things I can do. I do want to stress that I DO ANYTHING so email me if your requested service is not listed here.

Things I Will Do For $5:
Stare at you for 5 minutes
Give a hug to the person of your choosing
Call you on the phone and seem genuinely interested for 10 minutes
Draw your face on a balloon
Sing Barenaked Ladies’ “One Week” from memory to the best of my ability
6 minutes of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $10:
Write your new theme song
Sing your new theme song on your voicemail
Spin until I throw up or you lose interest
Rename your Pokémon
Host a conference call with you and a person that you’ve always thought was cool but never really got the chance to hang out with, you know?
12 minutes of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $50:
Break-up with your boyfriend or girlfriend
Help you quit smoking (I’ll call you every day for a month and yell “HEY DON’T SMOKE”)
Tell the person you like that you think they’re cute and what if you had sex together?
Try my best to fly in a public place for an hour
Make you a really great profile picture
1 hour of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $100:
Tell your kids which one is actually your favorite, and what the others could do to improve their standings
Fight someone much smaller or girl than me
Email you a list of 250 things I like about you (need access to any and all social network accounts)
Clean most of your house and apologize for the things I didn’t
Deliver 5 fully cooked DiGiorno pizzas right to your door (5 mile radius from my home)
2 hours of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $1,000:
Host an event (will not host anything racially insensitive, e.g. human being auction)
Give a PowerPoint presentation on team building to your business and/or extended family
Rename your children
Build you a cardboard car and make vroom-vroom sounds while you drive it
Star treatment for a month (I’ll hide in bushes and take pictures of you)
20 hours of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $100,000:
Yell your name every time I wake up for the rest of my life
Change my political and spiritual leanings
Screen all your phone calls for five years
Recreate the best day of your life (or worst, whatevs)
84 straight days of copywriting *BEST VALUE*

If interested, email me at travisdoesanything@gmail.com.

*Prices and tasks are subject to negotiation. I will not murder or steal or perform a legendary murdersteal. No rapes, and the sex has to be unrelated to the payment, like “Oh, after you’re done cutting those trees down, do you want some lemonade?” but the lemonade means sex, mostly.

View the original post here: I DO ANYTHING.

Categories: WTF (What The F*@!) | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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