Posts Tagged With: So Random

I Am A Figment of Your Imagination


But I'm right here!!

But I’m right here!!

Apparently someone misses me.
And apparently I’m a figment of their imagination.
This description is totally me, minus the imaginary friend part.

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Aww


I know this has nothing to do with anything. This is oddly cute. See kids, stereotypes are meant to be broken.

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3D Movies Were Made for Lap Dances


Ladies, wouldn't you love to see this in 3D?

Ladies, wouldn’t you love to see this in 3D?

Hey I’m all about equal opportunity. After mocking my girl friends for drooling over “Magic Mike” starring Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Olivia Munn , Matthew McConaughey & Matt Bomer set in the world of male strippers; I have come to the conclusion that if the girls are going to see this they should go ALL out & make a night of it.

Go to an actual strip club before or after the movie. Consider it as studying for your project.

Go see Magic Mike in 3D. Wait, it’s not shot in 3D!? You’re kidding right? How is the King of online ticket sales being cock blocked by 3D technology like this?

This movie could single-handedly sale the idea of 3D movies to the “50 Shades of White Collar Twilight” fanbase. This movie would make women leave the theatre in stretchers, dripping sweat like Niagara Falls from their head to their panties. I am serious.

I want my girls to come out of that theatre giggling saying stuff like, “Channing Tatum & Matt Boomer’s junk was all up in my face!”

“I grabbed his ass, I couldn’t help it!”

“That was the cheapest & best lap dance I have ever gotten in my life! Let’s go watch it again girls!”

Come on guys, where is the 3D component for this? This well crafted piece of art should be fully appreciated on June 29th (in a soaking wet theatre near you) in 3D. Do a post-production 3D upgrade, just do it for the women you love & the girls you wish would let you buy a 3D TV.

Think about it Sony (or whoever is distributing this production in theatres/DVD), sell this when it comes out on Blu Ray with your 3D TV’s & you’ll make a killing.

Ladies, how badly do you want Magic Mike to tease you in 3D this summer?

Be honest & I will give you the dollar dollar bills for your night out on June 29th.

Everything's bigger in 3D.

Everything’s bigger in 3D.

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Pillow Talk


Maybe I find this funny because I haven’t been able to sleep & yet I’m still in bed going from pillow to pillow like some two-bit bed fellow.

But let’s be honest people, pillow talk is great. Whether its before or after sex (nothing said during sex makes any sense after the fact when you stop to think about it), or before going to bed with your “partner”.

All the flirtation, funny moments, cuddling & positive vibes feel good. These pillows have a right to be excited about getting some head & you would too if you went to bed happy. Pillows, like you, enjoy bed head & some good company.

So let’s do each other a favor & have some much needed pillow talk. I’ll start by saying, you look so good right now. Today I don’t feel like doing anything except you.

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Mr. Brightside


Here’s a list of things I’m prone to saying while on antidepressants:

1) Hey it could be worse.

2) Aww that’s so sweet. I know I rocked your world, but I couldn’t have done it without you. You were amazing too.

3) I’m pretty sure that was supposed to hurt, but oh well. You can try again tomorrow.

4) I can’t even spell “stress” right now.

See, now that wasn’t so bad. Jeez, cheer up!

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