Posts Tagged With: twilight

3D Movies Were Made for Lap Dances


Ladies, wouldn't you love to see this in 3D?

Ladies, wouldn’t you love to see this in 3D?

Hey I’m all about equal opportunity. After mocking my girl friends for drooling over “Magic Mike” starring Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Olivia Munn , Matthew McConaughey & Matt Bomer set in the world of male strippers; I have come to the conclusion that if the girls are going to see this they should go ALL out & make a night of it.

Go to an actual strip club before or after the movie. Consider it as studying for your project.

Go see Magic Mike in 3D. Wait, it’s not shot in 3D!? You’re kidding right? How is the King of online ticket sales being cock blocked by 3D technology like this?

This movie could single-handedly sale the idea of 3D movies to the “50 Shades of White Collar Twilight” fanbase. This movie would make women leave the theatre in stretchers, dripping sweat like Niagara Falls from their head to their panties. I am serious.

I want my girls to come out of that theatre giggling saying stuff like, “Channing Tatum & Matt Boomer’s junk was all up in my face!”

“I grabbed his ass, I couldn’t help it!”

“That was the cheapest & best lap dance I have ever gotten in my life! Let’s go watch it again girls!”

Come on guys, where is the 3D component for this? This well crafted piece of art should be fully appreciated on June 29th (in a soaking wet theatre near you) in 3D. Do a post-production 3D upgrade, just do it for the women you love & the girls you wish would let you buy a 3D TV.

Think about it Sony (or whoever is distributing this production in theatres/DVD), sell this when it comes out on Blu Ray with your 3D TV’s & you’ll make a killing.

Ladies, how badly do you want Magic Mike to tease you in 3D this summer?

Be honest & I will give you the dollar dollar bills for your night out on June 29th.

Everything's bigger in 3D.

Everything’s bigger in 3D.

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Categories: Entertainment, So Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Ban on Baggy Pants (Don’t Trip)


Pants on the ground!

Pants on the ground!

If a New York Senator can get a ban on baggy pants passed, why can’t it work here? Now hear me out, this ban is only effective in schools. I know I’m not the only person that is fed up with seeing male youths walking around with sagging pants that exposes us to their underwear & ass cracks.

Senator Adams, who says his Brooklyn district is the “ground zero for sagging,” says the style that many find offensive represents much more than a teenage stand against authority.

The Senator also started the “Stop the Sag” campaign last year against the “epidemic” trend, which is a title that befits his motto, “If we raise our pants, we raise our image.”

This saggy fashion surpassed being a fad & ten years ago is a full on epidemic.
If you’re wearing a belt & your pants still needs to be held up like you’re lifting weights, your pants are TOO big.
If the zipper on your jeans is touching your knees, your pants are TOO low.

It’s not discrimination, you can wear other pants. You do have another pair of pants you can wear in public (school) that wasn’t made for 3 people to swim in?

I’ve seen guys on the treadmill at my friends gym wearing saggy pants. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t using them as part of weight training or to simulate wind resistance.

And how the hell do you sag tight jeans that are supposed to suck onto your nuts like some kinda Twilight Vampire from Down Under (sorry Australia)?

Raise your pants. Raise your image.

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Categories: Stories & Rants | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Brooding & Contentment


Brooding (Adjective)
1. Showing deep unhappiness of thought.
2. Appearing darkly menacing.

Guys, do you want to look sexy and get the girl? Don’t smile too much. Look brooding or show a bit of shame instead. Women are attracted to guys like James Dean, Dean & Sam Winchester or Edward the “Twilight” vampire. The guys who are flawed, but who know it and are tortured by it. I know this to be true lol.

Being content seems to be a temporary phase at times, a place holder for something more, something certain and definable. Emotions don’t need reason, all they need is fuel and something to aim for.
Emotions never truly die, they just come back in another form & give birth to another reaction. When you feel something strong do you ever wonder “Is this the end or just the beginning? Where did this come from?”

Earlier today I said to someone, “Love is comforting, but it isn’t always convenient.”

As usual I didn’t think about what that meant for me or where that line even came from. And now here I am wide awake and receptive to the possibility that I might finally have found something or someone to be truly happy about, if only I’d take the plunge (that’s a marriage term, I realize that and NO I’m not proposing!). I want someone to love me for who I am. I can’t explain everything right now, but I’ve decided that I can’t leave this lingering question hanging over my head.

“Don’t forget the truth; it’s always a good starting point.”

I haven’t felt even an inkling to write from since late November and in the last few days I’ve had a flood of passion, direction and questions that weren’t content with simply remaining in my head. So here I am feverishly writing again while hanging on for dear life.

On the verge of another unsuspecting sunrise, I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but as long as I have something to believe in and someone to hold, I’ll be more than fine.

It’s good to be back. Thank you for joining me & thank you for letting me into your life.

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Categories: Stories & Rants | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Twilight: How It Should Have Ended



Hell, I’d pay to see how this ends, wouldn’t you?
If Blade had a cameo in the next Underworld sequel I’d watch that too.

Categories: So Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Slicker Than Your Average (Smooth Criminals)


What kind of person can attain diplomatic immunity in EVERY situation? What kind of person is untouchable and slicker than oil? And no, I’m not referring to the dude responsible for Wikileaks.

People Who Get Away with Saying Anything:

  • Scientists
    • By using lines like, “It’s for SCIENCE!” or “By our approximation _______ should happen around such and such time.” they can get away with countless gaffes.
  • Psychologists
    • They wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true. They are trying to help you, so help them help you.

    Continue reading

Categories: Stories & Rants | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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