A Little Loss & A Lot Of Love

Have you ever felt like you didn’t have the right to feel the way you do?

When everyone around you seems to be having the time of their lives it feels wrong or selfish to admit that you’re not. You are truly happy for them, but whatever is going on in your life is weighing you down so you can’t fully commit to the moment. That’s how I felt a few days ago.

I attended my Nephew’s wedding and I couldn’t fully enjoy the moment with him and our family. I smiled, cracked jokes and I really am proud of him, but part of me was and is still distracted by this tinge of sadness.

Our cat Sundae had a stroke and died Friday while I was on my way to the wedding. Learning of her death while I was at this momentous occasion filled me with this odd mixture of happiness and grief all at the same time. I’m smiling while I’m on the verge of crying, and hugging my family all the while thinking about hugging my friends/roommates who were there at Sundae’s time of death. Life is funny that way.

In the same day I was able to embrace my family in a moment of pure joy and then hold my friends as we sobbed and mourned together at our mutual loss. Happiness turned into sadness and then frustration by the end of the day. The highs and lows of life are not lost on me.

I wanted to write about this earlier, but I figured who was I to talk or write about a little loss? I don’t want to distract from or steal anyone’s joy, so I didn’t message or call (typical). Don’t worry I’ve got Netflix, junk food and tea, so I’ll be fine. We will all be fine eventually.

I just needed to air out a few thoughts. Thanks for reading, if you’ve made it this far.

Anonymous Ways

We only see what we want to see…

Hello Stranger, let’s have relations.
It’s been a while & I still want to know what goes on beyond those eyes of yours.
I know it’s hard to see things clearly until your hard exterior wears thin.
But clearly nothing is broken, only making a breakthrough.
I’ll answer your questions with a smile.

You know you love me.
You can feel it in the back of your throat.
Let it out, it’s only me & you.
You’re in love, this much is true.

You’re always right, but oh so wrong.
Even in your red shirt love never dies.
There is no end with you in sight.
The rules don’t matter, nothing says we have to say goodbye.
You don’t have to keep me guessing to make it last.
We only see what we want to see & I want to see more of you.

Why are you trying to keep your love anonymous?
Put your cards on the table.
You could have my heart, if only you’d put your name on it.

You know you love me.
You can feel it in the back of your throat.
Let it out, it’s only me & you.
You’re in love, this much is true.

Why love nonchalantly?
Let’s give our first kiss a second chance & see how long it last.
Every time feels like the first time regardless of the past.
Let’s take what we can’t take back.
You’ve got it all, if you’ve got me.

You know you love me.
You can feel it in the back of your throat.
Let it out, it’s only me & you.
You’re in love, this much is true.

Stay

This is how it begins, beautiful & fragile.

Don’t say another word
Until you’ve heard my heart
Your presence echoes in ways that words can’t define

Paint some joy upon my face
Say tomorrow’s gonna be the day
Until then I’m just living behind a smile

I remember the last time that I saw you
The secrets I don’t show, are the signs I don’t even understand yet
It always breaks my heart, but I still smile anyway

I’m tired, sleepless nights are common fare
I just wish it was you keeping me up & not questions of where we stand
Hold my hand & set me free within

When my virtue’s vulnerable
I am man, I am material, for you to hold
This is how it begins, beautiful & fragile

I’m just an ordinary man, I’m no angel
You know where I’ve been
Holding you is the only heaven I’ve had

I’m lost on you, return to me love
On the edge of desire
Your every touch is reason to have you now

When lips get lost, hearts find their place
Show me how to love
Make me feel it in my bones

Nothing tastes as sweet as what we can’t have
Let’s forget our tired ways
Only then will the words be spoken

Stay

Tonight could be the dream that keeps us awake
Come in closer & we’ll find a reason to believe
I don’t mind, if you don’t mind

Stay

Related articles

• My Miracle! (transcendingbordersblog.wordpress.com)

A Rush Of Blood To The Head

A rush of blood to the head…

*NOTE: When you have a “rush of blood to the head”, you suddenly feel a surge of excitement or anger, and do or say something without thinking. It’s behind every act we do honestly out of spontaneity.*

We can be as close as you want.
I’ve got nothing but time to give, so where do we begin?
Stop the countdown, take some time to feel.
This embrace isn’t charity, its clarity.

Who knows what’s right as the times keep pushing on.
Where do we go from here?
Rise as the pressure builds, look to the center of your world.
Through the crowded city streets, past the fears beating against your heart.

When everything is falling, we do what we do.
We can be as close as you want.

We are directed by pathos, so keep on looking.
Every emotion lives in our eyes.
From a flash of anger, to a glimpse of happiness, it’s all here.
You can tell me, show me, but don’t break our gaze.

Caught up in the moment, it’s been a long time coming.
We can be as close as you want.

So here we find ourselves drenched in every reason we’ll ever need.
Breaking through the skin deep, let me fill you with something you can feel.
Anybody without a soul wouldn’t understand how far we’d go.
Our bodies enjoy this thrill ride, there’s no need to hold back.
We can be as close as you want.

More feeling than thinking in this world we’re living in.
A rush of blood to the head.
What you feel is not an illusion.
Every pulse gives you strength to press on.
Believe in tomorrow as though it will come, but live for today as though it’ll never wash away.

When the world is at your feet, open your eyes & hold on.
We can be as close as you want.

Kissing Shadows (Pt. 1)

This is how we lose ourselves.

Every time I see you I don’t know what to feel.
Is there a wrong way to love somebody?
We kiss the dark in search of the light.
You can feel the line start to tremble.
It’s impossible not to feel fondness melting into our every touch.
This is how we lose ourselves.
But that’s what we want in all honesty,
To be lost & found in an instant, a moment of truth.
The change is sudden & it’s never for nothing.